


Talk Neutral to Me

by TerresDeBrume



Series: In which Asgard and Jotunheim are at (relative) peace [4]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alien Character(s), Alien Culture, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Alternate Universe, Gen, Gender Related, Genderqueer Character, I Don't Even Know, Intersex Character, Jotunn!Loki, Just be warned I guess, Loki on the Avengers, WARNING: REPRESENTATION FAIL, Which ftr I'm sorry about and I'll work on that, You can still read it but be aware that this contains offensive aspects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, congrats on being a man!” Barton is saying, and Loki shakes his head.</p><p>“Not a man,” he says, “a Jotun.”</p><p>“Well,” Stark says from where he is sitting on the other side of the kitchen table, “you’re a big dude is what he meant.”</p><p>“I know,” Loki says with as much patience as he can muster, “but the term still doesn’t apply to me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Neutral to Me

**Author's Note:**

> So I tried my best to make this realistic and not-offensive or anything like that.
> 
> If however, something strikes you as innappropriate, illogical or anything like that, please don’t hesitate to come and tell me about it so I can better this work and people's characterization. :)
> 
>  **EDIT/WARNING:** So I've been told by someone more expert than me that this story was kind of a fail in terms of genderqueerness representation. (It's in the comments if you want to read it).  
>  I'll leave the story up and keep everything in mind for later writing, but I figure if you are actually genderqueer you should go into this knowingly. I appologize for anyone whose feelings I hurt with this story --I will know better in the future.

So the thing about the horncloths is that they’re not actually there for aesthetic purposes.

Okay, well, not  _only_  for that.

The thing is, although Loki has let his fellow Avengers believe that horns are to be clothed at all times it is not, strictly speaking, true. See, Jotun horns aren’t initially naked. When they first grow, they’re covered it a thin layer of skin and hair that make them look like that fabric the midgardians call velvet. The skin is extremely sensitive, and young Jotnar are easily hurt if something touches their horns –this is why they cover them. The custom originates from necessity as much as taste, perhaps even more so.

And yes, Loki’s hornskin was less sensitive than is usual -probably thanks to his parentage- but it was still there, and therefore had to be protected. It also meant that, like all young Jotnar, Loki spent most of his childhood –and much more of his adolescence than usual- waiting for it to wither and fall away, eager to be considered an adult.

 

And now, that day has come. Loki is a Jotun grown, at last.

The knowledge is so exciting that he needs to share it with someone, preferably someone very close to his heart… but his siblings are back at home, so quantity has to make up for quality –or, rather, intensity- and so he ends up blurting out the fact at the breakfast table, without any kind of explanation beforehand.

 

“Well, congrats on being a man!” Barton is saying, and Loki shakes his head.

“Not a man,” he says, “a Jotun.”

“Well,” Stark says from where he is sitting on the other side of the kitchen table, “you’re a big dude is what he meant.”

“I know,” Loki says with as much patience as he can muster, “but the term still doesn’t apply to me.”

“What, are you trying to have us believe you’re actually a girl?”

“Loki is neither,” Thor says from his place on the countertop. “Although perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you are both?”

“Wait,” Steve asks, “what?”

“Loki is both male and female,” Thor repeats.

“Oh,” Banner says, “You’re intersex.”

 

The room dissolves in an awkward silence then, the Humans disturbed by the notion of someone who can not be affected to either gender, and Thor looks at the scientist in purple with an air of quiet confusion, as though wishing to ask for a definition of the word without daring to do so.

 

“Yes and no,” Loki says. “The term intersex,” he adds for Thor’s benefit, “designate a Human who possesses both male and female genitalia. However, in your perception of things being intersex is being... in between, if you will. Humans and Asgardians both tend to consider their population as being divided between two genders -which, by the way, they tend to confuse with sexes- and intersex people are often seen as out of the norm, resulting in several forms of stigma against them... which is different from what Jotnar tend to hold for true.”

“Why’s that?” Natasha asks, eyebrows drawn together, and Loki is almost certain she has reached the correct conclusion already.

“Because Jotnar almost always possess both genitalia. We all possess the ability to be a ‘father’ or a ‘mother’, and Jotnar with only one type of genitalia are rare cases. So rare, in fact, that the masculine and feminine distinction does not exist in our language.”

“But you keep referring to yourself with masculine pronouns!” Steve protests.

“Yes,” Loki admits, “because this is what is expected of me. I have rarely heard any gender-neutral term being applied to anything but furniture and animals, neither of which apply to me. In adopting your language, I have therefore adopted your binary vision of gender… and since the masculine felt more apt to describe me, I did not contest its use.”

“Why?” Stark asks, “Because you didn’t feel like being pregnant?”

 

Loki feels his eyes narrow because,  _really_?

There are many things he does not understand in midgardians. Why they insist on classifying things in closed boxes in one of them. Nobody on Jotunheim has ever tried to define others by their wish to get pregnant at some point in their life or not! But after all, what does Loki know? Maybe the fact that midgardian men do not have a choice as to whether to get pregnant or not is why they deem it so important for their women to bear children?

Perhaps they are simply jealous.

(Loki does not truly believe in that theory, but it does have the merit of making him smirk.)

 

“I do not believe pregnancy has any hold on whether or not someone is a woman,” Thor says, brow furrowed in a stretch of mind Loki has yet to get used to.

 

He always knew Odin’s son could not be as dim-witted as rumors made him out to be, but he still finds himself being surprised at how intelligent he actually is. Loki expected someone with average understanding speed in all subject, but the more time passes, the more he realizes Thor is actually very quick to catch up on a variety of topic, so long as he is provided with proper basic explanations or, when needed, proper means of comparison.

Who knew Asgard could actually produce decently intelligent and kind-hearted beings.

 

(The kind hearted part, especially, keeps puzzling Loki. Hard places make hard people, and although Jotnar are well adapted to their environment, theirs is not exactly a kind planet when you fail to play by the rules. Loki knows: he’s spent his whole life defying them.  
He is not used to people being actually decent to those who are different from them.)

 

“My friend Sif has expressed her refusal of pregnancy numerous times,” Thor continues, “and none of us would think to question her womanhood.” He grimaces, then adds: “It  _does_  however, make it harder for her to find proper suitors. Nevertheless, she asked to be considered a woman, and that is what everyone holds her to be.”

“What, so kids around your home pick what gender they want to be?” Clint Barton asks, and Loki is surprised when he says at the exact same time as Thor:

“Is that not how things are done on midgard?”

 

Another awkward silence settles upon them, both extra-terrestrials looking at each of their companions in turn. They exchange a look then, which clearly conveys the thought of ‘midgardians,  _really_ ’ and Thor says:

 

“Neutral pronouns do not exist in out tongue. Not for people. You are male, female, or an animal. But every child, when he or she shows the first signs of puberty is allowed to choose which gender they wish to belong to. There’s a ceremony for that.”

“And what if a boy wants to be called a woman?” Banner asks. “What are the consequences?”

“Then _she_ is forbidden from ever growing a beard,” Thor answers with a pointed look. “Children who possess a womb and wish to be called men must keep their hair short. Outside of these rules, very little changes in their lives.”

“The same is done on Jotunheim,” Loki adds. “When a child sheds their hornskin, they get to decide whether they wish to be a part of the main ‘gender’ or be defined as a single-genitalia person. There are spells and potions that can help to make it into a physical reality, too, although few chose to go down these paths, as they are a long, painful and risky process.” It’s Loki’s turn to shrug now, as he says: “I suppose with work and patience, they could also serve to make someone go from male to female and conversely, if they wished, but as I said, the process is far from being risk-free.”

 

Once more, the room falls into a hushed sort of ambience, the Humans processing what they have just heard, some with more difficulties than others. Loki supposes that part cannot be helped –theirs is a rather patchwork-y team, and even those who come from the same planet have received very different educations –which in turn means very different expectations for human behavior.

 

“Well,” Natasha says with a smirk, “that's nice. We’ve been thinking we were more socially advanced than them all this time and here they are, kicking our butts at letting people decide what gender they are for themselves.”

“I didn’t know you were a social justice activist,” Barton mutters, but it is said without heat or reproach, more of a pouty protest than anything else. Then he sighs, and Loki is surprised to see the Hawk’s eyes fixate on him with disturbing intensity before he says: “Just so you know, I’m going to slip up at first.”

“Slip up?” Loki asks, quite stupidly.

“Well yeah,” Barton shrugs, “I don’t usually use neutral pronouns for people so, you know. I’ll slip up.”

“Oh,” Loki says, and he is surprised by the swell of affection he feels toward the archer in that moment. “Well, I don’t mind the masculine, but I appreciate your effort. Thank you.”

 

The others nod, and even Thor mumbles something about trying but not making any promise –which, honestly, Loki doesn’t begrudge him for. It is, after all, more of a stretch to him than it is to the midgardians… at least the ones whose mother tongue is English. Loki has no idea whether neutral pronouns exist in Russian or not.

The only one who makes no promises about the topic is Tony Stark and, if Loki is honest it stings.

Not because he actually  _expects_  anything particular from Stark but because no matter how much he tries, he can’t quite bring himself to forget the way his double’s fingers twinned with that of the other Stark, all those years ago.

 

And even without that, in almost a year since he came to earth and helped the Avengers defeat the Chitauri, Loki has never felt any of his teammates watch him with such intensity as Stark manifests. Maybe it makes Loki a fool, but he has to admit –if only to himself- that he feels kind of… disappointed, at Stark’s lack of interest in the situation.

Ah, well. That’ll teach him to mix up two versions of the same person… after all,  _he_  of all people should know that just having the same name and family doesn’t make you the same person.

 

 

 

**{ooo}**

 

Three days later, Stark is being interviewed by a famous journalist about their upcoming anniversary as super-heroic roommates. Loki isn’t really listening, mostly using the TV as a provider for background noise so he can nap in peace –there’s almost always some kind of sound around him in Jotunheim. Whether it is the wind, the ice creaking, the ground trembling under people’s feet, there’s always something.

The silence in Stark’s penthouse bothers Loki, prevents him from sleeping, and so he has taken to keeping the TV on most of the time.

 

Anyway the point is, he’s not really listening, until the interviewer says:

 

“So how about Loki? What’s it like to live with him?”

“Them,” Stark says.

“Them?” his counterpart asks.

“Yep. I figured it was time to introduce a little genderqueer awareness in today’s television.”

 

Loki snorts at the television.

 

“I bet you’re very proud of having said it in public before the others, aren’t you?”

“Why of course,” Stark’s voice answers from the door. “If I’m going to do this, I’ll do it properly or not at all.”

“Right,” Loki sighs, but to be honest there’s more amusement than exasperation there. “And what do I get for winning my bet?”

“Well seeing as it’s a bet with yourself, normally I’d say ‘nothing’… but I am a nice person so there, have this.”

 

Stark drops something small and smooth in Loki’s palm, and when the latter looks at it, he discover a badge, obviously homemade. The background is a pale shade of blue, not unlike Loki’s skin tone, and it bears the words “Talk neutral to me” in large red print.

 

Loki pins it to his loincloth, on the left hip, and chuckles to himself whenever someone mentions it.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and critics are always welcome, and if you don't want to leave them here, then you cand do it over on [Tumblr](http://terresdebrumestories.tumblr.com/ask) :)


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